Reflections from the Heart of the Work: Connection, Growth, and Being Human
- CUP-Health
- Apr 10
- 6 min read
Between Us: A quiet place to reflect
Becoming Familiar with the Unfamiliar. Have you ever noticed how the discomfort of new experiences can catch you off guard? Even when the change is something you want, something you’ve chosen, it can still feel awkward or unsettling at first.
That’s not a flaw in you—it’s a natural response. We often prefer the familiar because it's predictable and feels safe, even when it's not particularly good for us. The unfamiliar, even when it's a positive change, can feel daunting simply because it's new.
I’ve been reflecting on this as I write this debut newsletter. It's a new endeavor for me—a bit vulnerable and, yes, a bit uncomfortable. But I remember feeling the same way when I first started showing up more intentionally on social media, especially the videos. At first, it felt clunky and exposed. Now? It still stretches me, but it’s more fluid. That once-unfamiliar rhythm is beginning to feel more like “I’ve got this”.
I see this same process unfolding in the people I work with. Whether they’re trying out a Connecting Conversation for the first time or showing up differently in an immersion, they’re stepping into something new. I notice the hesitation, the overthinking, the nervous energy. But I also see something else: with practice, their edges soften. The awkward becomes familiar. A new path begins.
Research indicates that forming a new habit can vary widely among individuals. While some studies suggest an average of 66 days, more recent findings show that it can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months, depending on the person and the behavior being adopted. The key is consistent practice and patience.
So, if you're stepping into something new—in your relationship, your inner life, or the way you move through the world—know that you are not alone. The discomfort is part of the process. And with each step, you’re becoming more familiar with what was once unknown.
Let’s keep walking that path together.
With care,
Amy
Amy West, MSW & Founder
CUP-Health | Creating Unlimited Possibilities
Highlights from the Field
This past quarter, I continued to have the privilege of supporting individuals and couples through immersive work—creating space to slow down, connect, and explore new ways of relating. These are often the kinds of conversations we don’t make time for in daily life—or don’t quite know how to have. They can feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable at first. However, with support, guidance, practice, and an open mind to learning something new, things begin to shift.
In many ways, I’m going through a similar process myself. With 25 years of experience working with couples and individuals, I consider myself a lifelong learner—a student of life who seeks to understand not only others but myself too. It’s this drive for deeper understanding that led me to pursue an IMAGO certification. Even after all these years of working with people, I realize there’s always more to learn.
Just as I encourage my clients to step into what feels unfamiliar and uncomfortable, I, too, do the same. I’m committed to creating new neural pathways through this process, even when it feels challenging and I am not doing it exactly as I’ve been taught. I know that the discomfort is part of the growth, and, like you, I’m walking through it.
I’m also excited to share that the first Connecting Conversations Event at the beautiful Lilley Mansion was a huge success. The feedback was incredibly positive—many attendees mentioned they wished the event could have been longer, which I take as the highest compliment. It’s amazing to see how much people enjoy the process, which speaks to the real need for these kinds of skills and experiences.
In this welcoming, inviting space, something powerful happened: couples came together—some anxious, many not knowing what to expect—and began to practice a new way of being with one another.
Some couples had been together for decades. Others weren’t yet married and came with the hope of getting clear on a few things before their big day. Regardless of where they were in their relationship, they were willing to try something new.
At first, it felt awkward. Vulnerable. One participant said, “I freeze in conflict—but I realized how much I really do want to share.” Another reflected with surprise, “He was willing to do something he really didn’t want to do—for me.” And, in a quiet moment, someone realized, “We actually had a moment where listening may have taken place.”
It didn’t take perfection. It just took structure, guidance, and the willingness to try something unfamiliar.
And that’s the heart of this work.Not fixing. Not forcing. Just staying present–long enough for the unfamiliar to begin to feel like home.
With each attempt, each moment of courage, couples begin creating something new—not just between them, but within them. A new neural pathway. A new possibility.
Possibilities in Practice
Insight is powerful—and, insight without practice does not create change.
In my work, I see this again and again: couples and individuals have meaningful breakthroughs, and it is the repetition, the showing up, the creation of psychological safety, and the small acts of courage over time that actually shift the pattern. This is how new neural pathways are formed—not just through understanding, but through doing something new. Repeatedly. Gently.
At the heart of every offering I create is one essential truth:
Connection occurs when one Speaks to be understood and the other Listens to understand.
Many of us have learned communication habits that unintentionally hurt the connection—and often, we don’t even realize we’re doing it. The good news is: this can be unlearned. And more importantly, something new can be practiced in its place.
When relational communication is practiced with intention, safety, and care—new, stronger connection becomes possible. If you're ready to begin practicing these skills in real life, below you will find a few ways we can do this together:
The work of creating new patterns and pathways is ongoing—whether it’s in relationships, communication, or personal growth. And I’m here to walk alongside you as you create lasting, positive change. If you’re ready to explore more deeply and apply what you’re learning, reach out for a consultation or check out our upcoming Connecting Conversations.
What’s Coming
Now that we’ve explored how practice leads to transformation, I want to invite you to join me in one of the following experiences, where you can begin creating the changes you're looking for:
Coupleship Re-Imagined: Multi-Day Private Immersions
If you're feeling disconnected, uncertain, or just wanting to reset your relationship, this multi-day experience offers the space to dive deep and shift patterns that no longer serve you.
In-person intensives | Select spring and summer dates available
Individuals Re-Imagined: Multi-Day Private Immersions
For those ready to create change on a personal level—whether you're looking to understand yourself more deeply or make lasting shifts in how you relate to others—this immersive experience will support you in making the change you’re seeking.
In-person intensives | Available for select dates this spring and summer
Connecting Conversations Groups
We are considering three specialized groups within the Connecting Conversations series and really want to hear what you are interested in. These are designed to meet the unique needs of different communities and relationship dynamics. The groups we are thinking about include:
Connecting Conversations for Couples
Connecting Conversations for Pre-Marital Couples
Connecting Conversations for Leaders
It’s important to note that these groups are not therapy. Rather, they’re designed to help you build essential communication skills, create new, healthier habits, and begin to shift long-held patterns in a way that supports long-term connection. Whether you’re navigating family dynamics, leadership challenges, or preparing for a major life transition, these skills are at the heart of what can make your relationships stronger, clearer, and more connected.
Your input is incredibly important to us as we shape these offerings.
What kind of group or experience would be most helpful for you right now?
This is your opportunity to help ensure that what we create aligns with your needs and interests. Your feedback will make all the difference in shaping these experiences to be as impactful as possible.
A Thought to Leave You With
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." — Aristotle
Let’s Stay in Touch
Follow us on social media for quick tips, reflections, videos, and more ways to stay connected on this journey.
Visit our website for more information.
Comments